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Alone

by Spectre

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1.
Empty Shell 01:25
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Instrumental
2.
The Black Void 02:07
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Alone, the spectre haunts his home Another day, to fight away the pain Perhaps this is the way, to feel Am I even sure this is all real? Why, do I do this to myself? Hating everything, deprived The draining of the soul and health Thinking I am nothing, contrived Wandering through the hallways Pretending to exist A ghost, among the living Floating through the mist
3.
Glazed Eyes 02:34
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Here I sit, staring into space, Not aware of time or place My mind wonders what could be Instead in front of me I do not see The whispered voices in my head Tell me I would be better off dead Possessed inside, to harm the skin Knowing deep inside, I can never win The mental maelstrom, deep black hole Quenching its thirst, on my very soul Draining all desire, but at what cost? Alone and helpless, completely lost
4.
Caesar or Nothing 02:36
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Motivation, ambition slowly fades Same old chore, over many decades Try to reach your goal, try to wait it out My mind begins to wander and even to doubt I wish to be Caesar, to have and own it all Never knowing that life happens, eventual fall Once the routine takes hold, automaton husk Remember to keep on trying, dawn until dusk The fall changes you, you are not the same But you allowed the fall, you are the one to blame Do not use excuses, the misery is your own Embrace the abyss, remember you’re alone
5.
Self-Loss 02:15
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Who am I? Am I even me? I hear noises, very loud screams The spectre forces the mask to be worn I try to resist, but the husk has been torn Persona reborn, the puppet self is revealed Acting on the stage, true self is concealed A war is waged, to face who I am To win the battle, I must give up the scam I cannot be the person I foresee I’ve failed myself, that is my decree Hate keeps seething, a darkness is born The world around me, feel nothing but scorn
6.
The Shadow Revealed 01:07
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Instrumental
7.
Internal Struggle 02:33
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You have revealed yourself, shadow me I see you clearly, I accept my reality Not longing for the future, or the distant past I am tired of fighting, your time has come at last My self-loathing, inspired by failed grandiosity I now know I am average, a real mediocrity Your dark ways I now rebuke, I will take control My heart and soul are not gone, I want to be whole This lack of empathy, no emotional release Bottle it all up, all of these feelings cease Give in to the silence, do not say a word Be gone now, fiend, I am me, I will be heard!
8.
Catharsis 01:48
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Ambient

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released February 23, 2021

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Spectre Vereeniging, South Africa

A personal journey through depression and attempted suicide...

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